The Paramedic "Diary Of My Demons"

by The Paramedic

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01:27
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03:48
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03:33
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03:10
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03:30
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credits

released 12 August 2014

Vocals: Michael Luciano
Guitar: Jake Nolan
Guitar: Sean Salasny
Bass: Brandon Wallace
​Drums: Colten Terrell​

Engineered, Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by Jake Nolan
Band photos and cover imagery by Graham Fielder
Design and Layout by Travis Roberts
A&R by Josh Grabelle
Managed by Christian Wagner
All songs (C) & (P) 2014 Bullet Tooth
www.BulletTooth.com

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license

all rights reserved

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Track Name: Prologue
We all carry something with us;
Our demons.
We try so hard to fight them
And I’ve spent night after night trying to win.
And I can feel them closing in on me
They’re getting closer, and I don’t know if I can fight them all
I can hear them now, I can see them now, I can feel them now
Oh God, I’m surrounded

No,
Help me please
I’ve lost myself
They’ve brought me to my knees

I know
They won’t let me go
They’re getting stronger
They’re breaking through

And now
I fear what’s next
Can I win this fight?
Or will I meet my death?

And I curse them
From deep inside
And then I heard them speak
“We will eat you alive”
Track Name: Have A Nice Day
Bounce

Oh

Here I am right back where I started
But I’m way too strong to feel broken hearted
For far too long I’ve let you hold me down with such ease
And you expect me to act like I give a shit?
Bitch please

Break it down bitch

I won’t let you
Control my life any more

With everything you’ve thrown my way
I’ve been wanting to say
I’m over this (Over you)
Fuck you,
And have a nice day 2x

Never again,
I swear to God, never again.
I refuse to let you leave me broken down on the floor
This chapter is over. I’m closing the door
I’m rising up, I’m making the climb,
And I’ll be damned if I don’t
Take back what’s mine
Cute, how you think
That I’ll sit here and whine
Don’t worry bout me, bitch
I’ll be just fine

With everything you’ve thrown my way
I’ve been wanting to say
I’m over this (Over you)
Fuck you,
And have a nice day 2x

I’m so sick and tired of the drama that you always make
Just seeing the path of all the bleeding hearts that you love to break
But I’m gonna do me
So when I see
How well you leave
With no delay
Just know you ain’t on my mind
So have a nice day

With everything you’ve thrown my way
I’ve been wanting to say
I’m over this (Over you)
Fuck you,
And have a nice day 2x
Track Name: Who I've Become
They have to hear me now
Cause I’ve got something to say
I can’t get lost in the crowd
No it won’t end this way

“Speak up, Speak up”
Is what they said
“You got this man,
Don’t lose your head.”
They put so much faith
Into where I stand
But they don’t even know
Who I am

Who can I expect to blame
When they all just sound the same?
I believed in what they taught.
So why do I still feel so lost?

Is this who I’ve become?
Am I just another one,
Who holds onto
Their pride
While I’m
Screaming inside? 2x

Oh
Oh Yeah,
Yeah
I’ve watched all these years slip by
And now I’m left to wonder why
I feel like I just don’t belong
But I’ll no longer bite my tongue

I’m pissed off
I’m angry
But I’ve made the choice
To put up, not shut up
So why can’t I find my voice?

Yeah

Is this who I’ve become?
Am I just another one,
Who holds onto
Their pride
While I’m
Screaming inside? 2x

(Solo)

Is this who I’ve become?
Am I just another one,
Who holds onto
Their pride
While I’m
Screaming inside? 2x
Track Name: Proud
This will destroy me,
And they will never see,
Just how the words of one man,
Could, somehow, bring me to my knees
Your pride is worth nothing here,
Watch the words that you speak.
Lest they should all figure out,
How well you fit amongst the weak

Are we the ones that we want to become?
Or do we just mirror the ones that
We came from?
We seem so indifferent about what they say
But deep down, you can’t deny that,
It’s not that way

We strive to be perfect
And it will kill us all
(Kill us all)

I know that inside,
I have tried to resist.
There’s no more fighting it.
I will bleed for this.

I just want to hear you say it.
I need you to say it out loud.
Tell me I make you proud.
I just want to hear you say it.
Say it a little louder please,
Tell me you’re proud of me.

No
Have I just doomed myself to
Fight a losing war?

Because this will destroy me
And I can only hope to find
That maybe something in their words
Could, somehow, calm my raging mind

It’s fleeting to know
That there could be something more
And I’m just dying to know
What is it I’m really fighting for?

Please tell me!

I just want to hear you say it.
I need you to say it out loud.
Tell me I make you proud.
I just want to hear you say it.
Say it a little louder please,
Tell me you’re proud of me.

(Solo)

I just want to hear you say it.
I need you to say it out loud.
Tell me I make you proud
I just want to hear you say it.
Say it a little louder please,
Tell me you’re proud of me. 2x
(Is this enough?
Am I enough?)
Track Name: Make Me Feel
Make me feel like,
I’m the one,
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none

She had the world in her hands,
And she knows what she wants.
She had the darkest of plans,
And she knows how to flaunt
Those hips, those thighs,
The look in her eyes,
Made me want to think
That she’s not telling lies
And I know that you’ve been wanting
To save me,
So baby

Make me feel like,
I’m the one (I’m the one),
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none (Second to none).

Ha

Make me feel like,
I’m the one.
(The way you make me feel)
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none.
(The way you make me feel)
Make me feel like,
I’m the one.
(Tell me I’m the one)
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none.
(I’m second to none)

Tell me I’m the one
I know what you are
I know what you do
I know all the names,
Of the guys you went through.
So let me tell you right now
That I’m not the one to fuck with.
Bitch

Make me feel like,
I’m the one.
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none.
(Second to none)

Make me feel like,
I’m the one.
(The way you make me feel)
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none.
(The way you make me feel)
Make me feel like,
I’m the one.
(Tell me I’m the one)
Make me feel like,
I’m second to none.
(I’m second to none) 2x
Track Name: Lying To A Liar
There is no one else to blame,
And we all know it’s true.
I’m feeling reckless now,
I never wanted to be like you.

I’m perfect at being my own worst enemy,
Knowing that no one in the world will ever see what I see,
Am I wrong in thinking that there’s nothing I could do?
How did I let this happen?
I never wanted to be like you.

I’m no stranger to shame x2

You always seemed to strut around,
Like you could not be touched.
But little does the whole world know,
You have a crutch.
I can’t deny the truth
I’ve become you

How can you say
That everything’s ok
When you push me away.
We all know you’re lying
And when you hide,
All your feelings inside
All the sins you’ve denied
You’ll never stop lying to yourself

It’s time,
Own up to what you’ve done.
You’re trying to flee from something
That you can’t outrun.
To deny the plain and simple facts,
Would be to deny what’s true,
But then again,
We all know that this is something,
That you have been known to do.

What will they think,
When they see how you fell?
And no one buys all the lies
That you continue to sell

How can you say
That everything’s ok
When you push me away.
We all know you’re lying
And when you hide,
All your feelings inside
All the sins you’ve denied
You’ll never stop lying to yourself

(I’m no stranger to shame),
It’s feeling more like home,
(I’m no stranger to shame),
More than you’ll ever know

Yeah

(Solo)

How can you say
That everything’s ok
When you push me away.
We all know you’re lying
And when you hide,
All your feelings inside
All the sins you’ve denied
You’ll never stop lying to yourself 2x
(You’re just a liar)
Track Name: Fire Red
This place is Hell

In a hell like I’ve never seen
In a hell devoid of its fiends
In a hell completely unknown
A hell that I now call home

Can I really say that I didn’t see this coming?
I’ve gone through far too much to just not expect something.
But now this is real.
Now this true.
Now this is something
I cannot undo
I scream and I shout
I beg and I plead
But I’m alone in this place
Just the darkness and me

I deserve this.

I’m walking through fire.
With all that I’ve done,
This is what I’ve earned.
I’m walking through fire
And I feel the pain,
But I never burn

How did I get here?
No, this can’t be right.
Am I trapped in the dark,
Or am I losing sight?
It feels so familiar
This place filled with doubt
I’ve been here before
And there’s no way out
I’m lacking direction
I’m out of control
Every step pulls me
Further down below
I want to climb out
But these fears keep me grounded
There’s no one around
But I still feel surrounded

I will die here
(Yeah)

I’m walking through fire
With all that I’ve done,
This is what I’ve earned.
I’m walking through fire
And I feel the pain,
But I never burn

This place is Hell
“Where is your God now?”
In a hell like I’ve never known
In a hell like I’ve never seen
This hell that I now call home
This place is not where
You want to be

I’m walking through fire
With all that I’ve done,
This is what I’ve earned.
I’m walking through fire
And I feel the pain,
But I never burn
Track Name: I've Been There
Time after time
It always ends the same way
You wake up and get fucked over
Same shit, different day
It seems like everyone has
Always kicked you to the ground
But the time has come
You can’t take this sitting down

I know what it’s like
To feel like there’s nothing left
To fight and feel defeated
With every breath
I know what it’s like
To feel like there’s nothing left
To fight and fucking feel defeated
With every breath

You don’t have to be on your own anymore

You’re not alone
I know what you’re going through
You’re not alone
I know cause I’ve been there too 2x

Don’t be so naive
To think that you’re the only one
Cause I’ve been trapped in that same place
With nowhere to run

You’re depressed
I’ve been there
You get scared
I’ve been there
You’re alone
I’ve been there
She left you
Oh, I’ve been there

You don’t have to be on your own anymore

You’re not alone
I know what you’re going through
You’re not alone
I know cause I’ve been there too 2x

I’m sick of feeling alone

My mistakes and regrets
Cut me down to the bone
I’m so fucking sick
Of feeling like I’m on my own

(Solo)

You’re not alone
I know what you’re going through
You’re not alone
I know cause I’ve been there too 4x
Track Name: Captivate
Oh yeah, Ha

Behold,
The words of an angel,
Captivated me.
You know how to make me speechless,
You know how to make me breathless.
How could I feel this strong,
But still feel so helpless?
Well I don’t know

I gotta let you know
Never let you go
Gonna let it show
How much you mean to me now

Never let you down
Lift you off the ground
Know what I have found
Is what you need to see now

I can feel it growing stronger
And I know that you can too

I need you now

The only thing I need
Is you right beside me
Let’s never lose our light
Lets keep this fire burning bright
You leave me so haunted
You’re all that I’ve wanted
Let’s fall in love tonight
This fairy tale is ours to write

It would seem that you have this subtle nature
Of tearing me down
And I’ve always been the one to hold my peace
And not make a sound
You brought down my guard
And you broke down my walls
And I pray that you catch me
When I start to fall.
I know that I can’t go through this life without you
I need you now.

The only thing I need
Is you right beside me
Let’s never lose our light
Lets keep this fire burning bright
You leave me so haunted
You’re all that I’ve wanted
Let’s fall in love tonight
This fairy tale is ours to write

Have I been asleep?
Was this just a dream?
The way that I feel
Just seems so unreal.
Please don’t think that I’ll give up (I still want you)
I’ve come too far to lose (I still need you)
Baby just let these words show (I still want you)
That I still need you (I still need you)

The only thing I need (I still want you)
Is you right beside me (I still need you)
Let’s never lose our light (I still want you)
Lets keep this fire burning bright (I still need you)
You leave me so haunted (I still want you)
You’re all that I’ve wanted (I still need you)
Let’s fall in love tonight (I still want you)
This fairy tale is ours to write (I still need you) 2x
Track Name: My Life In A Bottle
It’s funny how I used to say
“That will never be me”
Ain’t it funny how things change?
It’s so crazy to see
The paths that we’ve chosen
The lives that we lead
One completely full of lust
The other full of greed
But now, I’m living in this bottle
Praying to God that He
Can take me back to when I needed her
And she needed me

I had to pick my poison
And it had to be her
And I drink her down every night
Just to feel the burn

(Solo)

I never knew perfection
Could become a heart attack
But now I’m washing my whole life down
With this bottle of Jack

I had to pick my poison
And it had to be her
And I drink her down every night
Just to feel the burn
I know she’d hate to see me now
But I hope she understands
That the only time I feel like a man
Is with a bottle in my hands

Don’t you think it’s time
That we stopped playing games?
I can see that look in your eyes
You still got that flame
And yet, here we are
Back at it again
But this time you’ll be my poison girl
You can numb my pain

(Solo)

I had to pick my poison (Yeah)
And it had to be her (It had to be her)
And I drink her down every night
Just to feel the burn (Just to feel the burn)
I know she’d hate to see me now
But I hope she understands
That the only time I feel like a man (The only time, only time)
Is with a bottle in my hands
(Yeah)