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Diary Of My Demons

by The Paramedic

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1.
Prologue 01:27
We all carry something with us; Our demons. We try so hard to fight them And I’ve spent night after night trying to win. And I can feel them closing in on me They’re getting closer, and I don’t know if I can fight them all I can hear them now, I can see them now, I can feel them now Oh God, I’m surrounded No, Help me please I’ve lost myself They’ve brought me to my knees I know They won’t let me go They’re getting stronger They’re breaking through And now I fear what’s next Can I win this fight? Or will I meet my death? And I curse them From deep inside And then I heard them speak “We will eat you alive”
2.
Bounce Oh Here I am right back where I started But I’m way too strong to feel broken hearted For far too long I’ve let you hold me down with such ease And you expect me to act like I give a shit? Bitch please Break it down bitch I won’t let you Control my life any more With everything you’ve thrown my way I’ve been wanting to say I’m over this (Over you) Fuck you, And have a nice day 2x Never again, I swear to God, never again. I refuse to let you leave me broken down on the floor This chapter is over. I’m closing the door I’m rising up, I’m making the climb, And I’ll be damned if I don’t Take back what’s mine Cute, how you think That I’ll sit here and whine Don’t worry bout me, bitch I’ll be just fine With everything you’ve thrown my way I’ve been wanting to say I’m over this (Over you) Fuck you, And have a nice day 2x I’m so sick and tired of the drama that you always make Just seeing the path of all the bleeding hearts that you love to break But I’m gonna do me So when I see How well you leave With no delay Just know you ain’t on my mind So have a nice day With everything you’ve thrown my way I’ve been wanting to say I’m over this (Over you) Fuck you, And have a nice day 2x
3.
They have to hear me now Cause I’ve got something to say I can’t get lost in the crowd No it won’t end this way “Speak up, Speak up” Is what they said “You got this man, Don’t lose your head.” They put so much faith Into where I stand But they don’t even know Who I am Who can I expect to blame When they all just sound the same? I believed in what they taught. So why do I still feel so lost? Is this who I’ve become? Am I just another one, Who holds onto Their pride While I’m Screaming inside? 2x Oh Oh Yeah, Yeah I’ve watched all these years slip by And now I’m left to wonder why I feel like I just don’t belong But I’ll no longer bite my tongue I’m pissed off I’m angry But I’ve made the choice To put up, not shut up So why can’t I find my voice? Yeah Is this who I’ve become? Am I just another one, Who holds onto Their pride While I’m Screaming inside? 2x (Solo) Is this who I’ve become? Am I just another one, Who holds onto Their pride While I’m Screaming inside? 2x
4.
Proud 03:48
This will destroy me, And they will never see, Just how the words of one man, Could, somehow, bring me to my knees Your pride is worth nothing here, Watch the words that you speak. Lest they should all figure out, How well you fit amongst the weak Are we the ones that we want to become? Or do we just mirror the ones that We came from? We seem so indifferent about what they say But deep down, you can’t deny that, It’s not that way We strive to be perfect And it will kill us all (Kill us all) I know that inside, I have tried to resist. There’s no more fighting it. I will bleed for this. I just want to hear you say it. I need you to say it out loud. Tell me I make you proud. I just want to hear you say it. Say it a little louder please, Tell me you’re proud of me. No Have I just doomed myself to Fight a losing war? Because this will destroy me And I can only hope to find That maybe something in their words Could, somehow, calm my raging mind It’s fleeting to know That there could be something more And I’m just dying to know What is it I’m really fighting for? Please tell me! I just want to hear you say it. I need you to say it out loud. Tell me I make you proud. I just want to hear you say it. Say it a little louder please, Tell me you’re proud of me. (Solo) I just want to hear you say it. I need you to say it out loud. Tell me I make you proud I just want to hear you say it. Say it a little louder please, Tell me you’re proud of me. 2x (Is this enough? Am I enough?)
5.
Make Me Feel 03:33
Make me feel like, I’m the one, Make me feel like, I’m second to none She had the world in her hands, And she knows what she wants. She had the darkest of plans, And she knows how to flaunt Those hips, those thighs, The look in her eyes, Made me want to think That she’s not telling lies And I know that you’ve been wanting To save me, So baby Make me feel like, I’m the one (I’m the one), Make me feel like, I’m second to none (Second to none). Ha Make me feel like, I’m the one. (The way you make me feel) Make me feel like, I’m second to none. (The way you make me feel) Make me feel like, I’m the one. (Tell me I’m the one) Make me feel like, I’m second to none. (I’m second to none) Tell me I’m the one I know what you are I know what you do I know all the names, Of the guys you went through. So let me tell you right now That I’m not the one to fuck with. Bitch Make me feel like, I’m the one. Make me feel like, I’m second to none. (Second to none) Make me feel like, I’m the one. (The way you make me feel) Make me feel like, I’m second to none. (The way you make me feel) Make me feel like, I’m the one. (Tell me I’m the one) Make me feel like, I’m second to none. (I’m second to none) 2x
6.
There is no one else to blame, And we all know it’s true. I’m feeling reckless now, I never wanted to be like you. I’m perfect at being my own worst enemy, Knowing that no one in the world will ever see what I see, Am I wrong in thinking that there’s nothing I could do? How did I let this happen? I never wanted to be like you. I’m no stranger to shame x2 You always seemed to strut around, Like you could not be touched. But little does the whole world know, You have a crutch. I can’t deny the truth I’ve become you How can you say That everything’s ok When you push me away. We all know you’re lying And when you hide, All your feelings inside All the sins you’ve denied You’ll never stop lying to yourself It’s time, Own up to what you’ve done. You’re trying to flee from something That you can’t outrun. To deny the plain and simple facts, Would be to deny what’s true, But then again, We all know that this is something, That you have been known to do. What will they think, When they see how you fell? And no one buys all the lies That you continue to sell How can you say That everything’s ok When you push me away. We all know you’re lying And when you hide, All your feelings inside All the sins you’ve denied You’ll never stop lying to yourself (I’m no stranger to shame), It’s feeling more like home, (I’m no stranger to shame), More than you’ll ever know Yeah (Solo) How can you say That everything’s ok When you push me away. We all know you’re lying And when you hide, All your feelings inside All the sins you’ve denied You’ll never stop lying to yourself 2x (You’re just a liar)
7.
Fire Red 03:10
This place is Hell In a hell like I’ve never seen In a hell devoid of its fiends In a hell completely unknown A hell that I now call home Can I really say that I didn’t see this coming? I’ve gone through far too much to just not expect something. But now this is real. Now this true. Now this is something I cannot undo I scream and I shout I beg and I plead But I’m alone in this place Just the darkness and me I deserve this. I’m walking through fire. With all that I’ve done, This is what I’ve earned. I’m walking through fire And I feel the pain, But I never burn How did I get here? No, this can’t be right. Am I trapped in the dark, Or am I losing sight? It feels so familiar This place filled with doubt I’ve been here before And there’s no way out I’m lacking direction I’m out of control Every step pulls me Further down below I want to climb out But these fears keep me grounded There’s no one around But I still feel surrounded I will die here (Yeah) I’m walking through fire With all that I’ve done, This is what I’ve earned. I’m walking through fire And I feel the pain, But I never burn This place is Hell “Where is your God now?” In a hell like I’ve never known In a hell like I’ve never seen This hell that I now call home This place is not where You want to be I’m walking through fire With all that I’ve done, This is what I’ve earned. I’m walking through fire And I feel the pain, But I never burn
8.
Time after time It always ends the same way You wake up and get fucked over Same shit, different day It seems like everyone has Always kicked you to the ground But the time has come You can’t take this sitting down I know what it’s like To feel like there’s nothing left To fight and feel defeated With every breath I know what it’s like To feel like there’s nothing left To fight and fucking feel defeated With every breath You don’t have to be on your own anymore You’re not alone I know what you’re going through You’re not alone I know cause I’ve been there too 2x Don’t be so naive To think that you’re the only one Cause I’ve been trapped in that same place With nowhere to run You’re depressed I’ve been there You get scared I’ve been there You’re alone I’ve been there She left you Oh, I’ve been there You don’t have to be on your own anymore You’re not alone I know what you’re going through You’re not alone I know cause I’ve been there too 2x I’m sick of feeling alone My mistakes and regrets Cut me down to the bone I’m so fucking sick Of feeling like I’m on my own (Solo) You’re not alone I know what you’re going through You’re not alone I know cause I’ve been there too 4x
9.
Captivate 03:30
Oh yeah, Ha Behold, The words of an angel, Captivated me. You know how to make me speechless, You know how to make me breathless. How could I feel this strong, But still feel so helpless? Well I don’t know I gotta let you know Never let you go Gonna let it show How much you mean to me now Never let you down Lift you off the ground Know what I have found Is what you need to see now I can feel it growing stronger And I know that you can too I need you now The only thing I need Is you right beside me Let’s never lose our light Lets keep this fire burning bright You leave me so haunted You’re all that I’ve wanted Let’s fall in love tonight This fairy tale is ours to write It would seem that you have this subtle nature Of tearing me down And I’ve always been the one to hold my peace And not make a sound You brought down my guard And you broke down my walls And I pray that you catch me When I start to fall. I know that I can’t go through this life without you I need you now. The only thing I need Is you right beside me Let’s never lose our light Lets keep this fire burning bright You leave me so haunted You’re all that I’ve wanted Let’s fall in love tonight This fairy tale is ours to write Have I been asleep? Was this just a dream? The way that I feel Just seems so unreal. Please don’t think that I’ll give up (I still want you) I’ve come too far to lose (I still need you) Baby just let these words show (I still want you) That I still need you (I still need you) The only thing I need (I still want you) Is you right beside me (I still need you) Let’s never lose our light (I still want you) Lets keep this fire burning bright (I still need you) You leave me so haunted (I still want you) You’re all that I’ve wanted (I still need you) Let’s fall in love tonight (I still want you) This fairy tale is ours to write (I still need you) 2x
10.
It’s funny how I used to say “That will never be me” Ain’t it funny how things change? It’s so crazy to see The paths that we’ve chosen The lives that we lead One completely full of lust The other full of greed But now, I’m living in this bottle Praying to God that He Can take me back to when I needed her And she needed me I had to pick my poison And it had to be her And I drink her down every night Just to feel the burn (Solo) I never knew perfection Could become a heart attack But now I’m washing my whole life down With this bottle of Jack I had to pick my poison And it had to be her And I drink her down every night Just to feel the burn I know she’d hate to see me now But I hope she understands That the only time I feel like a man Is with a bottle in my hands Don’t you think it’s time That we stopped playing games? I can see that look in your eyes You still got that flame And yet, here we are Back at it again But this time you’ll be my poison girl You can numb my pain (Solo) I had to pick my poison (Yeah) And it had to be her (It had to be her) And I drink her down every night Just to feel the burn (Just to feel the burn) I know she’d hate to see me now But I hope she understands That the only time I feel like a man (The only time, only time) Is with a bottle in my hands (Yeah)

credits

released August 12, 2014

Vocals: Michael Luciano
Guitar: Jake Nolan
Guitar: Sean Salasny
Bass: Brandon Wallace
​Drums: Colten Terrell​

Engineered, Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by Jake Nolan
Band photos and cover imagery by Graham Fielder
Design and Layout by Travis Roberts
A&R by Josh Grabelle
Managed by Christian Wagner
All songs (C) & (P) 2014 Bullet Tooth
www.BulletTooth.com

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